But problem-solving is more than just an airing of complaints.Next you need to be clear about what you would like to be different in positive, concrete and specific terms.Talking about yourself helps keep your partner from feeling attacked or blamed, and getting defensive and angry in return.
But problem-solving is more than just an airing of complaints.Next you need to be clear about what you would like to be different in positive, concrete and specific terms.Tags: Get Full Marks English CourseworkEffects Of Being An Athlete EssaysSociological Research PaperBest Public Domain EssaysEssay Writing OutliningAp English Language Essays
Research has shown that successful relationships are not those that necessarily have fewer problems, but those that have found effective means of solving the problems that come up.
Here is a 6-step process for tackling and solving those problems in your relationships.
Tom knew what was upsetting Kate, but rather than saying anything, decided to keep quiet and ride it out. Sara thinks Matt is too easy on them, while Matt thinks Sara acts like a drill sergeant, unable to ever cut them any slack.
The kids feel caught in the middle and play one parent against the other.
Step 1: Sure, you know you're upset, but what exactly are you upset about?
Kate might be mad about the new fishing gear, but is it about spending the money, the fact that Tom didn't talk to her about it ahead of time, or that perhaps it's another reminder that he spends almost every weekend with his friends fishing and that they don't do things together as a couple?
You want to keep in mind where you are going and stay on the road.
You steer the conversation, just as you do when driving, by making subtle adjustments as you go along.
Sara gets annoyed, her annoyance is masking her worry that the kids are becoming manipulative.
To be able to talk about these underlying emotions, rather than your anger, gets to the core of your true feelings, and is easier for the other person to hear and understand.